The alarm is warning!!!!

I was ab-fuck-solutely losing my mind.

When anyone in the lab was assigned a task and a research direction except me in this meeting with our tutor, I pretended nothing. But inside of heart, a black hole was inflating and swallowing every feeling leaving the one called helplessness. So I asked the professor about mine, “you decide yourself”, he answered. Then the helpless feeling gave way to restlessness. I am grade two this year, the opening speech is impending in another words. Nevertheless I do not have any idea what I am supposed to do at all.

I am losing my mind right now.

Maybe at the first time I came to the lab, he wanted to let me die by myself without even a glance. Or from his perspective, I have too much course to assign any more missions. Anyway, in retrospect, I indeed abandon myself in watching excessive movies and playing PC games. He did even offer me a mission, one year passed, I already left it behind my memory in a long time ago. I cannot blame him for anything. It’s me that deserve the bitter fruit I once seed myself.

From now on, I have to count on myself. Several days ago, Xu Wei said flatly that no one in the world can be trusted, all by self. For the sake of courtesy, I smiled. However at this moment, I think I understand him. The words he said is not a complaint negatively. Instead, it’s a declaration of renewal and an urge for a striving.

I love the short film the Famous Failure. Ironically, realizing now, I do not even have tried. Hui! Wake up! You should really have a think about your future and consequences. What on the earth should you do now!The alarm is warning.